Letting Go and Digging Deeper

 

Out our den’s window the fall winds are whisking the leaves right off the trees and bushes, and their brilliant offerings are being tossed through the air like confetti at a party.  In fact, I just saw a small tomato, the last of the harvest, wiggle off its soggy stem and messily plop to the ground from its raised bed. Times are changing! We had such a deliciously warm and wonderful summer with day after day of sunshine and the interruption of this trend has almost seemed like an abrupt, if not a shocking reminder that we do indeed live in the Northwest.

The landscaping crews seem to daily blow leaves off the roads and gather them into their big black buckets.  I wish they weren’t so efficient.  I’d like a chance to really savor and enjoy a carpet of my favorite colors glowing together in striking harmony on the roadways before they are hustled so hurriedly away.  I love how a dozen or so leaves rise up to dance after a car passes over the tops of them.  It’s like a private little performance that only the people following the car gets to see.  

Fall used to be my favorite season, however, as I get older I find myself spending more time outdoors in my garden and it becomes more and more difficult to cut back my perennials as the cold weather and rain arrive, then say goodbye to my flowers.  After their beautiful leaves are clipped to nubs against the ground, I cover them up with their microbial rich blanket of dark monochromatic compost then start my dreaming.  My creative self continues to cling to the need of a broader spectrum of color, my skin for the warmth of the sun, my ears to the songs of sparrows, and my eyes and heart to the cacophony of designs in the leaves and petals that are so prolific in long summer days. Letting go is hard.

 

It seems in the late fall and winter I have to dig a bit deeper to see the beauty of the natural world around me.  Sadly, my praises to our Creator are less frequent and I find myself flexing my thankfulness muscles almost willfully and maybe even with a tinge of sarcasm at times. “Yes God, I saw your beautiful creation today in the gradient shades of what color is that? Oh yeah, more gray, in the dark clouds overhead”.   But, that very decision to look for beauty is what sparks my creative juices and propels me through the cold and wet upcoming months. It’s like when we are almost out of groceries and I need to make something for dinner. It feels like a game, a challenge on what delectable combination I can come up with from the bottom of the freezer and the very back of the pantry. “Ah hah, taste that!”  I boastfully challenge my husband when I serve up a lip-smacking meal out of four previously neglected ingredients and some fresh herbs from my garden. Finding beauty in our day during a long wet season is like finding elements of joy then mixing them up into a wonderful offering that can be reaped not only by God, but for ourselves and others as well.

I Thessalonians 5:16, “Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” May your eyes and spirit be overflowing with joy-filled beauty as you go about your day this season of change.